I Don't Know What I'm Feeling Actually. I'm Confused and Hurt.

OH GOD. YOU KNOW HOW I FEEL NOW?


I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO SCREAM!
I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO FREAKING HAVE A SHOT OF RUNNING!
I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO SCREAM AND CRY!
I FEEL LIKE I WANT TO JUMP FROM THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN!
I FEEL LIKE I WANNA RIP OPEN MY CHEST AND TAKE OUT THIS UNCONTROLLABLE, MISBEHAVING HEART!
URGH!
FEELINGS ARE STUPID!



2-beds-and-a-coffee-machine:

I wish.

You know why? Cuz I can feel what I've been trying to leave for the last 2 years, is haunting me back like a ghost. The feeling. The pain, the hurt. The scar has been opened again. It hurts you know? Sure you don't. Every time I feel the pain, I can feel as if my heart is about to explode and I can feel the numb all the way to my fingers. It hurts. The pain that I have to bear, it hurts. No, I'm not talking literally here. I'm talking about the real thing! I'm not making up stories. It's what I felt. Sure, people don't understand. I used to question why does everyone keep saying Love Hurts? Aren't you supposed to be happy to be in love? Well, yeah, now I feel it. Congrats, Nina. God just showed you. But the thing is, IDT this is love. This is not love at all. I don't know what it is, but it sure hurts me.

Why are you making this a big deal?

Because it involves the matter of heart! Because I'm the only one who is feeling the pain! Because I've been freaking trying to forget this pain, to pretend like it never happened and now, it's back. It's haunting me. Only this is happening to a different person. I know things will repeat itself. God knows how much it hurts! And some of friends have seen how that affected me! I can't go to places that'll remind me of him. I can't even look at his name! It's stupid, I know! But how am I supposed to stop things that I have no control over and things that are unseen, untouchable? Tell me! How am I supposed to control how I feel towards that person?

It's difficult when you don't like and you like a person. You have both feelings in you and you don't know which side you're on.

I don't like you, but I....

I don't like you, but at the same time, I wanna spend some time with you. I wanna lie on the grass at the field, staring at the stars while we have deep conversation..or maybe just talk about silly things. Doesn't matter. I just want your presence.


ufocottoncandy:</p>
<p>promise to swear up to the sky</p>
<p>I wanna lay next to you and just watched the stars above until I fell asleep and to wake up in your arm. ” /></p>
<p> </p>
<p>Unfortunately, you and I are like north an south. We can get close or else we’ll argue. And it’s weird for me to have this lust for you.</p>
<p> </p>
<p><img class=




I don't like you, but I can't afford to be bad at you.
Because I know there's something inside of you that triggers me, something inside of you that pulls me. You pull me, but I don't pull you. That's what makes it even sadder.


Oh God. I'm talking crap, aren't I? =.=


This is stupid, you know. And I know it, too. It's just... I can't help it. Being in the helpless state is the feeling I hate most.

Nak nangis!


I just don't want the same thing to happen again. I can't afford to bear the pain for the second time. Heart, why are you so stubborn and cruel to me??

3 comments

  1. soal hati susah kita nak jangka. be strong nyna, i know you can :)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Nyna, you can't control your heart.
    Perasaan kita tu, kadang-kadang Allah yang tentukan.
    Just be strong and calm.
    I'm sure you can fight this :)

    ReplyDelete
  3. Syidah:
    I know I can. Thanks! :)

    Nash:
    Hopefully. Thanks! :)

    ReplyDelete

What's on your mind is there for a reason. :)